The Community of Military Spouses

Being a military spouse is a community. Military spouses are strong and independent. Husbands or wives also serve as their active duty spouses. As their loved ones deploy or go TAD(Temporary Duty Assignment), military spouses assume the full responsibility of being a dad and mom at the same time. As someone states in a book, "military spouses keep the fires burning at home." This group is a community because of like circumstance. Life gets very lonely at times without loved ones close by. Family members are far away. Every two to three years, there is a new duty station. There is a constant change of environment and never ending adjustments to new communities and finding new acquaintances. What holds military spouses together is the common purpose and mission of their loved ones. No matter what branch of the service they are, the mission is the same - to defend our freedom from domestic and foreign enemies.



Military spouses share a common value: to support their spouses wholeheartedly. They have strong interests to see their spouses succeed in their mission.There is a strong need of moral support to military spouses. They support each other morally, spiritually and physically. There are times that their loved ones are deployed for long periods of time, from six months to a full year. It is even more difficult if there are children involved. The love and support of others are very important and necessary. There is a common cliche that when an active spouse is out to sea or deployment, something always goes wrong; either the kids are sick, washer and dryer quit working or the dog dies! During these circumstances, the strength of military spouses come full-force. They have to make decisions by themselves, but with strong support from other spouses, they get by.



There are also tensions and differences among military spouses. It is a common understanding that ranks play a role in groupings. Officers' wives is one group, chiefs' wives another and lower enlisted is another group. Each group has their own goals and ways in dealing with loneliness and problems. Tensions within the community arise when certain families have problems. Others do not know how to help or they feel that they are not able to help. Younger couples feel left out when no one offers help or support especially if they are not used to living away from their parents. Tensions also arise when stresses and struggles of looking for a job come into play. There is also some jealousy in promotions and it affects the military spouse.


I fit in in this community as a mentor because of past experiences. I have been a part of this community for twenty years. I love and enjoy being a part of this group because I could give advice to the younger ones. Yes, there were hard times, but the good overshadows the bad. Moving is very stressful, but I count each move as an adventure. To be part of the military family, either active or spouse is a great honor. Serving our country is one of the most satisfying jobs I have ever had.